Dr. Brantiano Analyses the “BenChelle” theory

Hi Micky Brantiano (remember I’m not that shoe Doctor Lady!)
I’m back again after an extensive look down my microscope at the celebrity lab rats, I’ve hit upon an number of behavioural observations that might go some way to fuelling the imaginary love affair that is BenChelle.

Firstly what is BenChelle?

First noticed by Coolio - the love Doctor!

BenChelle is the outrageous claim that there might be something other than just friendship between Ben Adams and Ms Michelle Heaton.

Coolio put it that they were spending a considerable amount of their time together. (I think Coolio first observed this on the day, when they were placed together as part of a team on a daily task?!? - well observed Coolio.)

Anyways there maybe a reason why Coolio is like a ravenous dog with a big ass bone, on what is quickly becoming this years most contentious subject!

Why??? Because Coolio ain’t getting no lovin’ from the biiatches and I think he’s decided that if the girls won’t put out and show him some hot lovin’, then he’s gonna turn nasty on their asses!

We’ve already seen him turn dirty first with Lucy and now he’s got Miss Heaton is in his line of fire! And boy is he packin’

But lets not brand the man a Bully just yet! Don’t want him taking Jade’s title away from her just yet! Because to be honest the man just might have picked up on something! (other than the sent of pussay!)

You can’t really feel sorry for Heaton. She’s blubbering just a little bit tooooo much and making a little bit more of this, than laid back Ben Adam’s cares too???

So is Heaton trying to cover the fact that maybe just maybe she does have some naughty feelings for sing songwriter - whos worked with Alex from x-factor before anyone else - Ben from A1?

Is Heaton’s hourly face fountains being brought on by a sense of panic, that possible big brothers sinister editing team might actually have caught a few  sideways glances  and maybe even a licking of her lips and perhaps had them craftily cut up into a propaganda video montage backed with the soundtrack from the Love Boat?

Who knows? - well I do of course, because I’m the top doc in da country on dis kinda shinizzle of course!  - 24% of the time anyways!

Yeah fuck it, I’m gonna put my neck on the line and my bogus online bachelors degree with it and say that Michelle might well have a wee crush on Benny boy. Come Friday she might be the happiest girl ever to leave  Celebrity Big Brother as the viewing public will no doubt vote her out for being a big old drama queen.

Let’s hope she thinks it’s because we all hate her for being a cheatin biitch!

My work is done here!

‘BenChelle’ Controversey In Celebrity Big Brother House

Terry Christian isn’t mincing his words in the Big Brother house,
after the previous nights confession about Ulrika’s ”high
handed” behaviour he started day ten by addressing the situation
again, asking Ulrika if she was in a strop? After a brief
conversation in which Terry broke the original awkwardness with some
laughter things appeared to be diffused a little between him Ulrika,
but the motor mouth manc couldn’t leave it there and followed this up
with, ”I do think that you think you’re better than everyone else
though.” Boom, straight into the show, a show that Coolio didn’t
even dominate!

As the witches sat around the cauldron, and condemned Terry, is
Michelle being dragged into Tina and Ulrika’s clique? As the girls
offered words of support for Ulrika, Terry received some words of
support in the shape of Coolio, ”She dislikes you as much as she
dislikes me, she aint ever gonna forgive you”.

It appears paranoia is setting in too for some house mates, the
revelations that people had been talking about voting seems to have
left Latoya on edge. When discussing who she has bonded with she
struggled to mention anyone, and focussed more on not being able to
trust people, and that’s why she doesn’t have friends outside her
family. She speculated that there is a lot of eye talk going on in
the house and that Ulrika is playing a game, she claims she wants to
be voted out, but Latoya isn’t convinced, Latoya’s a Big Brother
veteran already, she’s rather clued up for a Jackson. Ulrika isolated
herself for most part of the day, whether that was to become more
boring so she is voted out or is she just  licking her wounds?
Well you know what they say, a wounded animal is the most dangerous.

Is it just me or is foul mouthed Tina ‘f**k**g’ Malone not all she
cracked up to be? I was expecting this dog to have a bite but there
is barely a bark. Granted she’s loud as hell but not once has she
confronted Coolio and she wasn’t as forthcoming to Terry as she’s
making Ulrika believe, she only seems brave when she’s sat on her bed
bitching with Ulrika. Eating her toe nails prompted my flat mate to
declare her the ”most vile human being on earth” harsh but at the
time it did seem fair.

As Tina made up English history for Latoya in the bathroom, the
‘World War Two’ knowledge was worrying, (nearly as bad as Ulrika
saying that if the Queen dies Charles becomes heir to the throne) the
conversation soon turned to BenChelle. Latoya asked, ”Have
you noticed two people are in love in here?” the two ladies
condemned the young ”friends” Latoya claiming ”they don’t know”
and that ‘’she is madly in love with him and he knows but is
playing it cool”. The two confirmed this would just be between
them two, and everyone watching.

Cut to Ben Adams and Michelle arm wrestling in the living room,
Michelle Heaton’s breasts slumped on the footrest as sly Tina
says, ”Ben will win, cos Michelle will succumb to him” and
then, ”She’s giving it all and he doesn’t care” this
insinuation was clocked by Michelle and Tina was quick to pretend she
was joking, if only Michelle knew that her friend Tina was dong twice
the damage Coolio could ever do to her relationship outside the
house.

The English test was quite funny, Verne as a Beefeater and Coolio
wearing a kilt were sublime touches and the electric shocks not
enough for big brother but Lycra outfits to boot, all in all
beautiful and funny TV, especially the last shock when no-one
expected it, fun for all the family until Tina exclaimed, ”I’m gonna
piss all over the floor”. The electric shocks must of tired people
out because it was an early night in the Celebrity Big Brother house,
not before Coolio managed to upset BenChelle again, prompting Ben to
finally grow some balls and voice off, in the privacy of the diary
room! Moaning how he hates loud people and claiming he is not
attracted to Michelle, ”It’s more friendship.”

The two faced swede who’d previously gossiped about Ben and Heaton
was on hand to offer support to the couple, saying its fine them
being friends, even though moments early she had been stoking Tina’s
fire by saying Ben was the spit of husband Andy Scott Lee!

Quote of the day was a close run thing between Coolio’s rubbish
poem, rap to big brother, and Tina’s emission to Terry, but Tina wins
hands down, after Terry’s suggestion that the younger ones would be
more interesting if it wasn’t for the oldies who are taking over the
house like him, Ulrika, Tommy, Coolio and Tina, suggesting they don’t
get a look in with these personalities, to which Tina replied,
”Because you and Coolio don’t shut up.” Pot, Kettle, T**t.

Is there love blossoming in the house?

With speculation mounting what do you think about Ben and
Michelle, personally i’m keeping my eyes on Terry and Coolio after
Terry’s admission that he loves the C man.