Its Girls Vs Boys in the Celeb Big Brother House

It appears that the house is separate into two camps, and apparently its the men’s fault. After the four girls have been put up for eviction, eviction they all claim they are happy about, there has been an amazing divide within the celebrity big brother house. Tina Malone claims the boys have made it this way and Ulrika claiming that she cant’ bare to share the house with these male ego’s. But this was while sat on their beds bitching, where they seem to spend an awful lot of time? Isn’t this behaviour that has ostracised them from the group? Or is it just Ulrika and Tina are cocks?

Unfortunately I had a late dinner last night, and as I tucked into a lovely Mexican taco, I’m forced to hold it down as Ulrika talks about vaginal plastic surgery and Tina confirms, ‘my holes fine, I could lose a bit of weight of me fanny’. Serious, as if watching her eat her toenails, pluck her beard and listen to her vile mouth wasn’t enough. I’m never eating again during that show, well at least not until saturday when surely Tina will be a goner!?

With the Oscar’s fast approaching last night saw two last ditch attempts to make the shortlist, Tommy in ‘Sleepy in Setee’ When Tommy’s car wash music went off which meant he was supposed to get up and go through the big brother car wash, Tommy ‘wakes up’, ”Is that the music?”, whilst making no attempt to move. Coolio and Tommy flat refusal to jump through Big Brothers hoop prompted Terry to call Coolio a pussy, and that Compton wouldn’t be shit without guns, claiming, ‘You could cause a rule of terror with a balloon on a stick”, braver than me! Ulrika then put in an amazing performance in this year epic horror, ‘The Adams Family’, Ben Adams making a great fun task the most boring and rubbish one about, seriously if Michelle goes is there any point in him staying, can we just count them as one entity? He was told to scare one of the housemates, for half an hour he hid behind a sofa, until Ulrika clocked something was a miss and went to find Ben, as she entered the luxury bedroom, Ben literally boo’d her. Ulrika was so scared she even said, ‘God you frightened me to death, was that your challenge, because god it worked, wow, scary,” He is pathetic.

The food task was failed again, with Coolio and Terry not bothering, and Verne and Michelle forced to eat a jar of hunny in four hours, causing them to throw up, the housemates needed the rest of the guys to pass. This included Tina ‘Im on channel 4 now, I’m not a hasbeen’ Malone and Terry Christian, whose ballet video had get more views than Verne and Ulrikas music video. Earlier in the day Tina claimed because she is in Shameless that more people will watch the video of a fat bird in a leotard than the video of a singing dwarf in a wig. They obviously didn’t, and as soon as they failed she said, ‘I told you, I’m going, told you about 40,000′ No you didn’t!?

Latoya however maxed her task, its got me thinking, condiments on ice, playing the giant piano from big, Michael Jackson covers, Tina’s got some good material building up for a variety show tour!!

Ulrika is breaking, and I urged you again, faithful viewers to keep her in the house, last night saw a discussion with the housemates about food esculate into Ulrika storming of and crying. Verne suggested that Mutya should be allowed to have a say in the shopping budget as she has a specific diet due to her vegetarian requirements. Verne didn’t raise his voice nor did he ”bully” Ulrika, he simply stood his ground about what he believed was right. This made Ulrika crack, and say she hates everyone in the house, and that shes begining to panic about being in there. If she walks the greedy bitch doesn’t get her pay day, and this a woman who suggested that Tina can get free surgery of a magazine if she writes an article about it deserves to have her greedy lot cut. This was the conversation that led to me only half me tea last night!