Dr. Brantiano Analyses the "BenChelle" theory

Dr. Brantiano Analyses the “BenChelle” theory

Hi Micky Brantiano (remember I’m not that shoe Doctor Lady!)
I’m back again after an extensive look down my microscope at the celebrity lab rats, I’ve hit upon an number of behavioural observations that might go some way to fuelling the imaginary love affair that is BenChelle.

Firstly what is BenChelle?

First noticed by Coolio - the love Doctor!

BenChelle is the outrageous claim that there might be something other than just friendship between Ben Adams and Ms Michelle Heaton.

Coolio put it that they were spending a considerable amount of their time together. (I think Coolio first observed this on the day, when they were placed together as part of a team on a daily task?!? - well observed Coolio.)

Anyways there maybe a reason why Coolio is like a ravenous dog with a big ass bone, on what is quickly becoming this years most contentious subject!

Why??? Because Coolio ain’t getting no lovin’ from the biiatches and I think he’s decided that if the girls won’t put out and show him some hot lovin’, then he’s gonna turn nasty on their asses!

We’ve already seen him turn dirty first with Lucy and now he’s got Miss Heaton is in his line of fire! And boy is he packin’

But lets not brand the man a Bully just yet! Don’t want him taking Jade’s title away from her just yet! Because to be honest the man just might have picked up on something! (other than the sent of pussay!)

You can’t really feel sorry for Heaton. She’s blubbering just a little bit tooooo much and making a little bit more of this, than laid back Ben Adam’s cares too???

So is Heaton trying to cover the fact that maybe just maybe she does have some naughty feelings for sing songwriter - whos worked with Alex from x-factor before anyone else - Ben from A1?

Is Heaton’s hourly face fountains being brought on by a sense of panic, that possible big brothers sinister editing team might actually have caught a few sideways glances and maybe even a licking of her lips and perhaps had them craftily cut up into a propaganda video montage backed with the soundtrack from the Love Boat?

Who knows? - well I do of course, because I’m the top doc in da country on dis kinda shinizzle of course! - 24% of the time anyways!

Yeah fuck it, I’m gonna put my neck on the line and my bogus online bachelors degree with it and say that Michelle might well have a wee crush on Benny boy. Come Friday she might be the happiest girl ever to leave Celebrity Big Brother as the viewing public will no doubt vote her out for being a big old drama queen.

Let’s hope she thinks it’s because we all hate her for being a cheatin biitch!

My work is done here!