Celebrity Big Brother Starts, Day 3 in the Big Brother house and things are starting to heat up a little. It appears Coolio is begining to annoy a few people, namely Tina Malone who’s talking the talk of a class A bitch, and the gloves are off. Coolio insesent sex talk is winding up the girls it seems, and the show opened as Coolio tried to chat sex with Lucy Pinder, claiming, ‘if you had a man like me you wouldn’t need another man.’ Cut to, the Twins (something ulrika wont appreciate) Tina and Johnsson, bitching away about the girls and how emaculate they look, having to listen to Tina talk about her ‘tits’ may have been to most disturbing moment of tv, definately this year, with the imagery of two balls in a bin bag flying round my head I was close to turning off, but for my faithful readers I percivered.
Thank god I did, fuelling further to the evidence that Micky Brantiano unearthed, Ulrika is a man, she even questioned the matter herself! After admitting that she will have a boob job to make them more perky!? Not an issue for Tina Malones arse though apparently, thats rock solid!! ‘I’ve got a great arse’ (not according Mutya Buena who said, ‘your arse looks huge’ when she was dressed as Juilette later, Gold) She then proceeded to talk about other areas of her anatomy of which i refuse to blog about!!
Now although Coolio is annoying the other housemates, he’s nothing but pleasure for me, some may argue if you speak for 16 hours of the day then your bound to say something amusing but in the hour long show the guys gold! When Big Brother introduced the next footage it became obvious that people were already growing tired of the rapping prophet, ‘Coolio has been talking for 37 minutes’ and he constantly seems to be singing and rapping much to peoples discomfort! My favourite coolio quotes of yesterday include.
COOLIO QUOTES OF THE DAY.
On answering what he does when his daughter brings home a boyfriend, ‘…I take him for a walk round the block with my knife and my pitbull.’
‘…I know one of my daughters is having sex, I read her text messages in her phone.’
On Sex (surprise, surprise), ‘…I had a threesome when I was 12 years old, no pentration though,’ The camera cuts to Tina Malone stuffing a chicken full of stuff. ‘Pentration didnt come until I was 15′.
But it wasn’t any of this that stoked the fires, it was just Coolio laughing that struck up the first tears to date! As part of Terry’s next nomination, BB set a task to find the least talented member of the house, which led to some classic scenes, and the boys were salivating at thought of Lucy Pinder naked or in her bikini, but instead we were forced to listen to her barely make sense about politics causing her to be deemed least talented. It was a dissapointment, when I saw her VT, I was excited, claiming she was into politics it made me feel guilty for pre-judging her, turns out my guilt was ill placed!
Ulrika then gave a comprhensive weather report and a funny, honest story of her career, and all the singers did well to Mutya clearly the best. The toughest task fell to Verne, not only did he have to recite 17th century english prose, and learn it in no time at all, his Juilette was the shows ‘top arse’ Tina. Once again the punage on Verne’s hight was thrown in by BB, you naughty boy, having tina say, ‘These walls are high and hard to climb.’ Verne looked so nervous, maybe he thought he had to do the kissing scene also!? And A1’s thing, person, had Ulrika flushing in a striptease and crotch grabbing routine, well I think it was that, could of been the big M though!
Terry is feeling the pressure of being responsible for voting people, and when it is innevitably revealed to the fellow housemates its bound to cause friction, especially between him and Ulrika who already seem to have a hate hate relationship.
The Talking point of the show and the firelight was a simple reference to the classic film Shrek. Michelle Heatons seemingly complimentary (!?) remark about how Tina looked like Princess form Shrek (Fiona) in her costume for the task was awesomely turned into the biggest drama ever! When heaton said it, I immediately thought, Ohh bit scathing! But amazingly enough I dont think she did mean it in a nasty way! But Coolio thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard (it was), and tried to give Michelle recogniton for a good joke! The room descended into a pit of paranoia all being fuelled by Coolio’s insecent laughter, and claiming that Michelle just called Tina an Oga and a Troll went someway to clear up any confussion shifting the blame on to wet Ben from A1 was funnier still as he quickly tried to disassocitate himself from Coolio. Who still roared with laughter, Tina demanded to know what was said and grilled Ben in the ashtray. Mutya and Ben just carried on digging and digging trying to explain that Princess Fiona was both beautiful and yet still a TROLL! Cringe tastic, Heaton was resultantly the first to cry when she realised just what she had said and how it had been percieved. All in all a storm in a teacup! All in all quality viewing! Resulting in Tina having a vendetta for the big man Coolio.
The Ever Gregacious Tina (seriously if she refers to that one more time Im going to tattoo it on her head), claimed that the reason Coolio pays everyone else compliments and not her is because she is competition for Coolio (cos obviously he would of mentioned her top arse otherwise)!! and having early claimed that she can be twice as nasty as him following the princess fiona saga means watch this space as factions undoubtley form! It becomes apparent that Coolio’s roommates are the ones that are becoming annoyed by him quickest.
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